I'm jealous of your bromance
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
