you turned your livingroom into a bong?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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