apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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