people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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