guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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