But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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