Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
