this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
