Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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