hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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