Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
