in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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