he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize