shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
