somebody snuck up and got me drunk
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
How external is "for external use only"?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
