Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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