are you so shy because you have an std?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
