My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
