How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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