If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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