Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize