Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
