dude i'm inner monologue high
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
