By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
