I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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