How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
