Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
