no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
