And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just want to make out with him forever
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
