My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
