She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
