ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
