I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
