Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
