Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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