I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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