if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I still have a little drunk in my system
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
