What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I'm really busy with my period
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