operation have a gay friend backfired
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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