I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
