Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
