Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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