where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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