Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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