I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
