it wasn't lemon gatorade
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
