I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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