just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
