So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
