I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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