I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
