You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
