can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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