I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
