So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Girls should come with a carfax report
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
