it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
