goodnight i made you a song goodbye
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
