alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
