so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
