I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
