i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
