Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
