i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Vodka?
Forever.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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