I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
