well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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