I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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