dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
