tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
