I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
love makes seman taste better
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
