So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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