I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
