OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
