I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
