You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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