you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
