bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
