capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
