imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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